Elementary, my dear Watson.

Tomorrow, Kase and I are headed up to New Hampshire to enjoy a weekend away with my college girlfriends and their significant others/ husbands. As a group, we have decided to call it Holy Christmas. I don’t remember why. Maybe because we went to Holy Cross, and we’re halfway to Christmas. Who knows. We’re wacky.

But this is the kind of thing you need to plan a year ahead of time. With no weddings on the horizon and *some* people just going ahead and having kids (alright, just me), we had to make an effort and a monetary commitment to get together this year. So my friend rented a castle.

I told you. We’re weird.

And when she told us she rented a castle, my friend’s husband demanded we do a murder mystery game one night.

I know. We’re AWESOME.

Well, you know how much I love a theme. And since I am the only one who is currently unemployed in the business and traditional sense, I took it upon myself to organize the murder mystery. And surprisingly enough, there are a lot of options out there. And very much to my surprise and chagrin, they take a lot of prep work.

And an accurate headcount.

And name tags.

And a whole lot of play money. For real.  I just ran out of play money. So I need to go back out this afternoon to the party store and buy some more. And maybe I’ll pick up a cane while I’m there. And maybe a wig.

Costumes are mandatory, you see. For instance, here are some of the email exchanges this week alone:

“The best I can do is a Larry Bird [mustache] by then.”

“I’m thinking of taking her in a Goth direction.”

“Does anyone own a black veil?”

I may or may not have purchased a slew of fake pearls. And some props to help my friends take their character to the next level.

Has to be done.

Naturally, I’ve been watching re-runs of CSI to hone my detectivery skills.

I hope I don’t get murdered. That would put a real damper on the evening. My outfit is pretty amazing.

Scenes from our [Memorial Day] Weekend

We had a great Memorial Day weekend in Maine. I’ve got my first sunburn of the season, so summer is officially here.  ;)  The weather forecast called for some rain, but we always seem to forget that a weather forecast in Maine is completely useless most of the time. It was bright and sunny and warm the whole weekend. Perfect.

Of course, Colin discovered (or re-discovered) the beach. And this year? He discovered the joys of running into the ocean and racing waves with his big cousin, Elena. He took a few spills, but he enjoyed himself and loves the water. And he really loves Elena, or more accurately, bothering Elena, so that may be a one way street at this point in their lives.

I discovered that Wal Mart opens promptly at 6am when there were 5:30am wake ups. And that it has a Dunkin Donuts. I like to make the best of a bad situation.

We learned to take a pass next time on the Crayola colored bubble machines. Bubbles should not stain.

We also discovered going to a Portland Sea Dogs game is a must for any of you with kids out there. Especially with tickets costing $8. When you arrive in the 2nd inning, and leave in the 5th, the price of the ticket helps to take the sting away.

We learned the hard way that swim diapers and tummy bugs do not mix. And that Colin can in fact, take showers.

Despite all of that, we had a really great weekend enjoying each other’s company,  a fair amount of  sun, sand, and lobster. Lots of lobster.

Fiesta!

One of my least favorite memories while pregnant was walking past our go-to mexican restaurant and longingly looking at all. those. frozen. drinks. Life can be so unfair sometimes. So filled with trials and tribulations. Know what I mean?

Nothing screams summer like a nice mixed drink, a margarita or even some sangria sipped under a hot summer sun.  I mean, that is what I like to think heaven is like.  I’m all about the Mexican food come summertime. But I learned something while pregnant. I might like Mexican food, but I really love it when paired with a frosty drink enjoyed on a patio. I love me a patio drink.

So for those of us who plan to hit up our favorite patios, backyards or tailgating spots and indulge in a little lime flavored goodness, here’s a little outfit to get you started. It’s important to dress properly for the occasion. The occasion being stuffing your gullet and getting a little buzz on.  Hence, no heels and a flattering blousy top to hide the beer belly and maybe a floppy hat to shield your face when you stumble home. I don’t know about you, but my tolerance is shot since having Colin. ;)

top//shorts//hat//earrings//sandals//bracelets

Ahora, bebimos!!

Happy Memorial Day Weekend everyone!

I changed my mind.

So I changed my mind. That’s my prerogative, and I’m allowed. Also, I blame the Pottery Barn Kids catalog.

My first mistake was not throwing it out immediately, which is usually what I do, but now that most of my shows have finished for the season, I’m a little light in the DVR. So I saved the Pottery Barn catalog and took a little look see the other day. And Colin decided to join me. And then he picked out his big boy room.

I swear that is exactly how it happened.

Given that we will most likely be moving Colin to a “big boy bed” within the next 6 months, it didn’t make sense for me to plan a room  scheme around the color of his crib. He gets to be a little boy once. A little boy who happens to be obsessed with cars.  So I took that and ran with it.

Theirs: 

Mine:

rug/daybed/shelf/car/airplane kazoo/vw bus poster/ parking sign/ monaco poster/ quilt

I really love the Pottery Barn Madras quilt and have loved it for a while. And while I am usually not a huge fan of using primary bold colors, it is fitting for a little boy’s room. Colin is already the proud owner of that sweet red speedster. He rides it all around the house, both backwards and forwards, so I thought it would be fun to tie that into the design, and I was very happy to find that Monaco poster above. I love vintage inspired posters, and Kase and I have a soft spot for VW busses – one day we want to own one.   And I got the idea of the parking sign from the inspiration picture above. Did you know you can order custom parking signs? And not pay a million dollars from Pottery Barn kids? I love the internet.

This is a longer term plan.  I will slowly begin to source and accumulate things, since we’re not made of money. And I just want to reiterate, it wasn’t my fault. If you had seen Colin tear through that catalog (literally) yelling “Car! Truck!” you would have signed right up too.

So what do you think? Perfect for a little despot? Also, I’m always drawn to white, but also considering the high gloss red for the bookcase. Thoughts? The new high gloss options from Ikea are really quite nice. And did you know you can now pay a fee ($99) for them to pick out and deliver your order?  We’re in trouble now.

Feeding the Monster

A couple of weeks ago, Colin and I made the rookie mistake of stepping foot into a Barnes and Noble. This never ends well, you see, because most stores have a Thomas the Tank Engine play table set up and my son evidently is studying the fine art of shoplifting. When his plan goes awry, we hastily make our exit and I laugh off the pitying glances from other toddler mothers.

Luckily, or unluckily, depending on your point of view, this particular store did not have a train table. They did however, have Sesame Street characters. Like this guy:

Colin loves himself a Cookie Monster. If you a parent who diapers your child in Pampers, you may have used the old trick of “Who do you want to wear today?” to get your child to lay still for 15 seconds in order to change his personal landfill. We know Elmo and we know Cookie. We could care less about Grover, which pains me to no end. And Oscar who?

So we snatched up that Cookie monster and Colin left the store without an ear curdling scream. As we were getting into the car, I asked Colin if we should buy some cookies to feed to Cookie. He responded with an enthusiastic “Yes!”

Now let me just tell you a little something about my pantry. I am unable to keep delicious items like cookies in my home because I have no willpower to not sit down every.single.night and eat an entire bag of Oreos. Or Chips Ahoy. I can’t stop myself. So we don’t keep them in the house.

However, the other day we were at Trader Joe’s and I just had to have me some cookies. So I picked up a tub (yes, a TUB. WHAT?!?) and looked forward to a night of Greys Anatomy with a side of chocolate chip goodness. I packed them away in the pantry.

A few hours later, Colin comes over to me and hands me the entire tub of cookies.

“Cookie?”

“Hmm, okay sweetie. You can have one cookie. Here you go.”

“No!”

“Fine then. Mommy will eat it.”  (Do you see why I need to instill a strict no-cookie/easy-mac/pizza rule in my home?)

“No! Cookie!”

“Colin, do you want the cookie or not?”

At this point, my toddler just walked away from me, clearly disappointed that my doltery has failed him again.

Instead, he decided to climb all the way upstairs unassisted. I caught him at the top. I’m a good mom like that.

“Cookie!” Pointing to his crib, stuffed Cookie Monster lays despondent.

“Colin, did you want to feed Cookie some cookies?”

“YES!!”

And so, we fed the monster.

Please don’t call the muppet equivalent of CPS. I didn’t know you actually needed to feed Cookie Monster. I’ll be better now.

Scenes from our weekend.

Do you ever have one of those weekends that is both simultaneously relaxing and extremely productive all at once? The weather here was beautiful and we took full advantage. We headed up to Maine on Saturday to get the cottage ready for next weekend, when we will meet up with my sister and niece for the holiday weekend.

On Saturday, Kase and I were getting ready to take Cols down to the beach and apparently we were taking too long. Clearly since Colin already had been slathered with sunscreen, he was good to go so he kept trying to head out without us. We kept telling him, “Not yet, buddy!” to which he responded very clearly and with the kind of exasperation only a toddler can convey, “Going to the beach!”  I feel ya, Cols. It’s pretty awesome. There’s really nothing like seeing your kid experience the beach for the first time that he can really enjoy it. We went at low tide and it was perfect- we were able to walk the beach with Colin running circles around us. Literally. Loved it.

Sunday we were back home, tackling the yard, enjoying the sunshine and just making good memories. Sometimes in the middle of weeding, it’s important to take a sprinkler break. So I did. Gotta show the kid how it’s done. I think he got it. He’s a natural.

I really love this time of year. Don’t you?

Hope your weekend was fabulous!

Wussdis?

Colin’s verbal ability has really taken off lately. And while we still can’t understand about 60% of what leaves his sweet little mouth, there has been one phrase on repeat lately: Wussdis?

Colin points. “Wussdis?”

“That’s a truck.”

“Wussdat?”

“That’s a flower.”

“Wussdis?”

And repeat.

I especially love it when he asks me what something is, and after I (correctly!) identify it, he laughs and says, “noooooo!”

You’re right, Colin. I must be wrong. I don’t know what a bunny rabbit is. Mommy’s so dumb.

Is it normal to challenge a 21 month with the official Scrabble dictionary and Wikipedia references? Is that taking it too far? I want him to respect my authority.

In other news, Houston, we have a new favorite book. Kase picked this up one day while at work. Always thinking of Colin. I get presents on my birthday. Colin gets presents just because he’s cute and blonde and has a perfectly round face. I’ve got a double chin, but what does that get me? Fine. I’ll deal.

The book is called, “Goodnight, Goodnight Construction Site” and is pretty much the perfect book for any kids who love trucks. It enthralls to no end and requires at least 112 “Wussdis’s” We learned the word crane yesterday after approximately 43 “Wussdis’s”. We’re still working on “Excavator.” Also? Colin had the book for no more than 12 hours before he ripped a page out. He loves it that much.

“Wussdis?”

This is real life.

Even though I knew it would happen, I wasn’t expecting it.

Colin got THE SICKNESS while at Daycare. He also picked up a couple of other nasty habits like hitting other children and learning the word “MINE.”  Oh, and the new and unimproved machine gun laugh that apparently the cool kid at daycare must do. Kill me now.  We pulled him out as soon as I got the OK from the doctor. Which is naturally when Kase came down with the sickness.

Being the sympathetic wife that I am, I told him that perhaps if his diet was better and he got more sleep, he might not have succumbed. And then I may or may not have laughed like Nelson from the Simpsons. I’m such a good wife.

This past weekend, we went away to celebrate Mother’s Day with Kase’s mom and then my family down in NJ. We were excited to cap off the trip with an overnight stay in NYC on Sunday night. We had big plans to hit up Central Park and the zoo, and to eat our faces off.  Of course, as we pulled into the valet, my glands spontaneously swelled up. It’s cool. I didn’t need to swallow anyway. Where should we eat?!

We ordered in room service and went to bed at 8:30 that night. Good times.

Oh, I’m sorry. I did leave the room briefly to go to the Times Square Duane Reade for medicine and whole milk.

The next day, I allowed Colin to run wild around our hotel suite, pulling the toilet paper from the roll and running around the room. I’m so laid back. And also? Sick. Do your worst. Just let me lie here in bed.

And then? My child pulled out the drain of the BIDET. AND LICKED IT.

I almost vomited. Can’t imagine why.

He miraculously recovered from the sickness. I don’t want to know why.

Of course, we arrived home and picked up the dog at daycare yesterday.

This morning, he puked on our bed.

This is real life.

The Shops at Target

We all know my love of Target. And let me just say, they still haven’t contacted me to get a little spokes deal going on, but it’s okay.  I’ll throw them a bone anyway. I like to support the old mom and pop shops, and let’s face it, they could use the press.

But guys, seriously. Have you been to the Shops at Target???  I’ve seen the commercials, but didn’t think the merchandise was already in the stores. And then I stumbled upon The Webster shop.

I die.

Naturally, I had to pick up a few things. They were calling my name. It would have been rude to ignore them.

To use a phrase that makes me want to hurl, I’m loving this color story:

Now just to be clear, I didn’t purchase all of these. I maybe just purchased a couple of these things and then maybe just maybe one other thing that’s not in the above board. Above is a mix of items from The Webster collection and the Privet collection. I just love how it all coordinates. And I’m a sucker for coral, green and navy.

Have you been? What’d you get? You can shop online too. Check it out here.

How Big is Colin? [Ruler Growth Chart Tutorial]

Last year around this time, Kase and I were about to put an offer in on a house. One of my main reasons for wanting to buy? I wanted to start tracking Colin’s growth in a home. I wanted to take out my handy pencil, stand him up straight against a door jamb, and memorialize his 31 inches.

Not a great reason to buy a house, sure. But it’s hard to explain. I wanted to feel rooted somewhere. And nothing says home quite like a wall with graffitied markings on it.

But then we moved. And then we moved again. And here we are, renting a less than perfect house. And still no wall on which to track my little dude’s growth. Sadsies.

And then came Pinterest. And then came this link.

For a mere $75, I could forgo buying a house and simply buy a large ruler to track my child’s growth. And then, when we inevitably move again, I can just pop it into the UHaul and take it with us. What brilliant genius thought of this?

The thing is, I don’t have $75 just lying around to buy oversized rulers, cute as they may be.

But then I got these cute vinyl number stickers in my Always Crafty Swag Bag, and my little brain idea light went off. I could make my own damn ruler. And a month later, that is just what I did.

You remember I went to Ikea last week. While I was there, I was actually able to amble around the superstore, taking my time for once *ahem, kaseandcolin, ahem* and after eating some delicious chocolate cake, I stumbled into the shelving section. And there I found this bad boy.

Sure, I could have gone to the hardware store and bought a piece of unfinished wood and stained it myself. BUT NO. I believe the word you are looking for is lazy. $19.99. Yes, please.

And then it sat on our dining room table for a few days. And then I went to the actual hardware store and bought a yardstick and some acrylic paint. I also bought a tiny little plastic paintbrush that I didn’t end up using, but I’m getting ahead of myself.

I decided that I wanted to hang the ruler about a foot off the ground, so I began to measure my markings starting at 2 feet, and to make the intermittent markings, I measured about 1.5 inch gaps.

Then I took my freecals (free decals) and placed them like so, checking that I liked their placement before deciding on the length of each marking.

Eventually I decided to make the 1/4″ markings about 2 inches long, and the 1/2′ markings 3 inches long. The foot markings would be 6 inches long.

Then I went over each marking with my paint. Like I said, I decided against the paintbrush since it was a cheapie, and instead used a q-tip. Don’t judge.

I was happy with how that turned out, so I went on to apply the decals.

Peel off the backing, and then rub the decal onto the wood, like so. If you get your eyebrows waxed, it’s kind of like before they rip off the wax strip:

Slowly, very very very slowly, peel off the transfer paper:

And voila!  Homemade (read: Janky) Ruler Growth Chart.

Overall, this project cost $25 and a bit of patience and frustration for someone who is bad at math. But I did figure I saved about $50 (before shipping), so hey, I can’t be that bad at math. ($75-$25= $50. Right? Hold on, let me get my calculator.)

Looking for a preschool? Look no further. Actually, do.

Last week I posted about finding a preschool for Colin. And much like how I researched schools, I glossed over some key criteria in my post. My mother in law was helping me drive that bus and I was happy to let her. She’s got approximately 30 years on me in the parenting department, plus about as many as a an early childhood educator, so it’s for the best really.

But a few of you asked me what specifically you should look for when researching preschools. And thankfully, my mother in law sent me this helpful list to share with you, since my brain is incapable of retaining information other than “Make sure they don’t employ pedophiles” which to be fair, were words never uttered by my mother in law.

This list is specific to Massachusetts standards, so you should check with your specific state when doing your legwork.

Now, step right up. Pick your preschool! [My own editorial comments in gray]

  • Make sure your child care is licensed by the state [This is where I failed. Woopsie]. This means that the facility and employees meet the minimum state standards. Go to the Massachusetts Department of Education website for license, adult/child ratios, first aid/CPR requirements and curriculum standards information.
  • NAEYC (National Association for the Education of Young Children) accreditation is a further standard of care and education. It is voluntary and programs undergo an intensive process to obtain this accreditation. Check out their website for more information. Further, preschools that have this accreditation will generally publicize this on their website, if they have one. [Which they should. If you can't find a legitimate website for your school, I would take that as a red flag.]
  • Visit the facility with and without your child. Watch the interactions between staff/ children and child/child. Do the children seem adequately supervised? Are the activities motivating and hands-on? Is there a good mix of adult/child, child/child verbal interaction? Is the staff/child ratio appropriate for each child to receive individual as well as group attention? Are the children running, screaming from the exits? If so, I would not even park the car, but keep on driving.
  • Ask about their curriculum. In Massachusetts there are State Standards for pre-school which are part of the Common Core. I think it’s important to find a program where the child will thrive.  The curriculum for the program Colin is enlisted in involves Drama.  Colin will excel in that particular area. 
  • What is their educational philosophy?
  • What does a typical day look like?
  • How do they handle discipline issues?
  • Are parents encouraged to participate in the life of the school?
  • Trust your instincts! You know your child best! Be sure you feel the school is a “good fit” and you are comfortable with the facility and staff.  In our case, the question was if they were comfortable with letting Colin in. ;)
So that’s the advice straight from my early education consultant. You can send your checks directly to her. ;)

31.

I turned 31 yesterday. And if I weren’t hobbling around in a cast, I would have told you I still feel 12 years old.  I still act that way, anyway.

I went for a pedicure.

I worked on a little project, which I hope to share soon.

I got a pair of bright yellow driving moccasins and a cute necklace, which I posted here. They were wrapped in the cutest wrapping paper.

I head back to the Dr. tomorrow Here’s hoping I can wear my new shoes soon!

Score!

For the past month, I’ve seen signs around our town advertising a big sale for used children’s clothing, toys and gear. Naturally, my interest was piqued as I am unable to pass by an opportunity to shop. So I was up bright and early Saturday morning, ready to enjoy a nice leisurely morning, shopping for some kids crap.

And while I arrived promptly as the event began at 8:30am (having been up already for two hours. life with a toddler), I was shocked to see a line around the block for people waiting to get in. AND PEOPLE WERE ALREADY LEAVING WITH STUFF.

Now, if you know me, you know I just can’t handle that. And by that, I don’t mean waiting in line for a sale. Crap, I lived in NYC for years and hit up the Theory sample sale twice a year like it was my job, rain, sleet, snow or long line. If I’m gonna get a deal, I’ll do just about anything. And sure, time is money, but there is no single thing that is more satisfying to me than telling people I paid five cents for something worth 10 cents. I covet jealousy.

No, what I can’t handle is that I arrived ON TIME and yet, still, there were some shopping ninjas who managed to get there before me and score some almost free crap before I did. The injustice of it all. I am still smarting. And I need to know how they did it, so I too can cheat next year.

While I waited in line, I read the very handy rules board that was on the lawn (the only shopping worth doing is shopping that requires a rules board.) It stipulated that all shoppers must use the clear bags that would be provided for us. You also needed to pay for your items in the area you shopped in. Each area would require a new check out process. The board also laid out the floor plan for shopping. What this told me is that I needed to prioritize my shopping. I don’t have time to waste in every line. Okay, well I do have the time, per se, but I won’t devote unnecessary energy waiting in line. The stupid line I was in was bad enough.

Like any seasoned consumer with an unhealthy fixation coupled with shopper’s rage, I scanned the crowd, and I could immediately tell the baby gear was old and ratty. Nobody was parting with Bugaboo or Stokke for this sale.  I don’t need a high chair from 1980. Thanksverymuch. With the floor plan imbedded in my mind’s eye, I took off for the basement level, down three flights of stairs, to the mother lode: Children’s Clothing.

Now here’s the deal with children’s clothing. Some of us moms go a little hog wild in the clothing department. This results in each outfit purchased being worn approximately 2.8 times in the child’s life. I’ve done the math. No need to double check it. So unless your child is Pigpen, chances are, the practically never worn clothing will go directly into a storage tub and will be kept in immaculate condition while awaiting its fate.

And that fate? Thy name is Kate. Nice to meet you.

The clothing floor was like a mini department store with racks upon racks of clothing, separated by gender and size. I honed in on the blue 2T signs and nimbly stepped over small children, narrowly avoiding clobbering them with my purse while en route. Like I said, I’m an expert.

$2 Baby Gap T Shirt from THIS YEAR? Yes, let’s just take that home. Cargo shorts in every imaginable color for $2 each? GET IN THE BAG! A Red Sox shirt? Oh why the hell not. It was a dollar. I’ll pretty much buy anything for a dollar.

And I wasn’t the only looney there, crazy for cocoa puffs. I actually heard the following conversation:

“This is like the running of the brides!”

“So Tyler’s a size 2T. If you see something cute and it’s a 2T, just grab it. Anything at all. Just throw it in a bag. We’ll decide later if we want it.”

It was all clear bags and crazy times. AND I WAS LOVING IT.

There was a woman there who had in her bag one of those talking plush dogs. We have it too. I hid it in a closet and only every now and then does Colin unearth him. That thing is horrible. As the lady was shopping next to me I told her kindly, “I’ll be interested to see if you leave with that dog after hearing it for thirty minutes straight.”

She shot me a dirty look. She’d be damned if she wasn’t going to bring it home. It was probably a dollar.

I understand. But that dog will be back in the sale come the fall. I guarantee it.

Anyway, in the end, I scored a pile of summer clothes for $35. And let me tell you: I felt nothing short of victorious. I came,  I stood in line, I scoured and I conquered.

And then I came home and bleached all of it to within an inch of its life.

A DIY kinda weekend…..

I went to Ikea. I went to Michael’s. Add two and two and you get four people.

It’s gonna be a DIY kinda weekend.

I’m gonna (hopefully) cross something off of my Pinterest board, I’m gonna use some spray paint, I may cut up a leash, I’m gonna hang some stuff, and hopefully I’m gonna get started on fixing up the despot’s room.

I might even get to go back to Ikea. Keep your fingers crossed.

Happy Friday!

My Mother’s Day Gift

Kase has been asking me what I would like to do for Mother’s Day. And I didn’t really have an answer.

Until today.

My mind came up with a brilliant plan. My silly mind. It has a mind of it’s own.

You see, hanging around the house not having to constantly pick up after people because I pick up after myself, thankyouverymuch, I have the time to walk around and take a good hard look at things. And this is what I see:

The picture is not blurry. The camera was crying.

I know. I KNOW. Colin’s closet had more style than this room. Sadsies. I couldn’t tell you what happened. We moved. Then we moved again. And then? I was just plain tired of trying to decorate rooms and more rooms. Plus, Apartment Therapy asked me to stop emailing them about “Colin’s new new new room.”

If you decorate a room and Apartment Therapy doesn’t document it, did it really happen?

I think we tried harder with the closet because it was a closet. And we put our kid in it. But now? He has a room. He should feel special. So what if there’s nothing hanging on the walls? And the rug is a $25 number from Ikea and is stained? I certainly didn’t pee on it. Colin can only blame himself for that one.

Moms out there. You understand me, right? You get it. For all this time you spend planning out your child’s nursery (waste of time, btw) you are hopefully in and out of there in less than five minutes most days. And if heaven forbid, your child is having restless nights, you are in there, but it’s pitch black. See no evil and all that.

Now I don’t know if it’s the fact that our regular routine has been switched up or what, but *someone* has been making it into our bed a little too often for my liking these days. But who can blame the kid. Look at that room. It’s downright frightening.

Acknowledging you have a problem is the first step. The second step is shopping.

So maybe, just maybe, my mother’s day present this year could be to make Colin’s new new new new room a little spiffier. A new rug, maybe a few new accessories. We’ll keep the existing furniture (the dresser, glider and crib anyway), and the giraffe of course.

But the real present? Kase nodding his head yes. Over and over again. When I want to buy the rug. When I want to move furniture.

Nod and smile, Kase. It’s my day. You’ll get your revenge in June.

So now I ask for your opinion. Which I may or may not accept with a grain of salt. ;) Which color rug?

I’m leaning towards the brown.

Glider/ Rug/ Crib/ Map/ Giraffe

So what do you think? I need to call Kase and tell him what he’s giving me. ;)