Single Parenting and Children
Compared to a two parent relationship, there are some things that make single parenting more challenging in nature.
A parent that has been betrayed and has decided to leave his, or her, marriage tends to find single parenting a lot harder – maybe due to the circumstances that forced them in to living a life they did not choose voluntarily.
In single parent families, it is not uncommon for children to be more involved in the decision making within the family. Naturally, being a single mom, or a single dad, involves only one parent in charge of the household, so the interaction with the children most of the time requires them to be a part of the day to day activities of the family.
The parent is usually faced with the problem of dealing with the decision making alone. Unlike two parent households, the single parent makes all the important decisions that may sometimes seem unmanageable.
In this way, the single parent, in an attempt to make the right choices, involves the children in making the right decisions which usually allows the kids to be more responsible and mature, albeit in certain areas, earlier than their peers.
While single parenting can be a little complicated, the task of involving the children in the decision making may not be applicable to everyone. Just remember not to load too much responsibilty onto your kids. Participating in decision making is best reserved for older children.
Children need to grow up as normal as they possibly can. It is important to let the kids be kids and to allow them to meet up and interact with their friends. Children need to know that their parents are responsible enough to look after them. Even though they may be young, they also need time to grieve over the things that they may go through being in a single parent family.
These things may not be easy for your kids to handle and that is why you need to constantly reassure them that even though things may not be going the way they wanted it to be, things happen for a reason.
They may be taking on some extra responsibilities which won’t do them any harm and if they are old enough, they can help you out at home with some chores, that before your separation, or divorce, they might have easily gotten away with.
Tell them that you are proud of how they are coping with things and allow them to take time out for themselves if needed. Let them to go out with their friends for them to be able to be more secure with who they are.
It is sometimes unexpected but in the future, who knows, you might meet someone who can take the place of your lifetime partner. Simply put someone who can help complete your family. If the day comes that you meet someone, take things slowly and talk to your children about it.
Being open about what is going on with your romantic life will help them understand what is happening to you.
Most of all you have to listen to how they feel and understand that when you go through single parenting, your children go through the same things that you do and they may react strongly once you take on a new relationship.
Single parenting is not all about living through the ordeal alone. It may take some time to adapt to all the commotion but it can be a good experience once you have accepted it.
No matter how difficult it is to raise children in a single parent household, try to live your life to the fullest in order for your children to see that you are coping and are happy. This way, your children will be able to handle their shortcomings and be positive about dealing with family issues.
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Bear in mind – you are not the first and you will most definitely not be the last person to have to experience single parenting with all its ups and downs.
Even when things seem bleak, rest assure that you will get through it and come out on the other side a happier, stronger and more confident person. Your kids will grow also, and not just vertically.